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  • Kerri-Leigh Bower

SIGNS YOU MAY NEED SUPPORT FROM A COUNSELLOR!!

Are you feeling stressed or overwhelmed? Are you challenged by daily life? Do you feel alone or isolated and believe that no one close can support you? Have you recently been thinking about counselling?


Below are signs that you may need some additional help in your life!!


FEELING ALONE AND ISOLATED

Feeling lonely sometimes is normal. Feeling alone or isolated is personal as everyone experiences these emotions differently. Loneliness and isolation are described as the feeling of sadness or distress when we feel disconnected from the world and ourselves. However, we must not forget that it is possible to still feel lonely when surrounded by other people.



SLEEPING PROBLEMS

Research shows there is a close connection between lack of sleep and mental health issues. Since, poor sleep leads to poor energy and worrying which in turn leads to poor sleep and poor mental health. This is a terrible cycle to be locked into.


Many people report that a lack of sleep leads to:

· Negative remunerating thoughts, feelings of depression and/or anxiousness.

· Lack of physical energy and motivation.

· Feeling alone or isolated, as most people when tired do not feel like socializing or hanging out with family and friends.

· Triggering existing symptoms such as pain, illness or diagnosed medical conditions



CATASTROPHIZING SITUATIONS

When a person catastrophizes, they usually see the worst in a situation and decide that no matter the outcome – it will be bad. Such thinking is known as “cognitive distortion” and “magnifying” by other professionals.


Here are some examples of catastrophizing:

· “I am divorced, my partner left me, and no one will ever love me again”.

· “If I fail this course, I will never succeed in life”.

· “I will never recover from this operation, I will be useless for the rest of my life”.


Unfortunately, catastrophizing can result in some individuals not achieving their goals and experiencing depression.



SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES

In a nutshell, self-esteem is how you feel about your abilities and limitations. Self-esteem can be high, low or sit somewhere in between. People with high self-esteem normally have a “full glass” perspective of their world compared to a person with middle of the range who will normally just feel good about themselves and their life. However, people with low self-esteem place little value on themselves and are more self-critic, sad and depressed than other individuals.



YOUR RUNNING ON EMPTY

Running on empty means feeling exhausted, tired and fatigued. Resulting in a spiral of negative emotions, depersonalization and a diminished sense of achievement. Emptiness normally sneaks up on people with it becoming more pronounced over time until one morning they wake up and are unable to function affectively in life anymore.


SIGNS OF RUNNING ON EMPTY

· Feeling fatigued even after a good night’s sleep

· Increased negativity in your personal and professional life

· Decreased memory such as forgetting events, appointments or chores

· Insomnia and feeling restless, anxious, tense and depressed

· Wanting to isolate from friends and family

· Unable to complete projects or goals

· Decreased productivity and performance

· Lack of empathy and caring less towards others

· Feeling cranky, frustrated and angry



YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED A TRAUMA AND CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT

The pain of death, a relationship break-up, a miscarriage, discrimination or loss of career can often leave people feeling traumatized with intense emotions. Since, trauma impairs daily functioning and causes people to feel sad and distressed. If you find yourself pulling away from life because you can’t put an experience behind you – then you may be experiencing grief and loss.



USING SUBSTANCES TO COPE

This one is easy for most people to say – “it’s okay, I only use when I feel stressed as it helps me relax and unwind”. However, this could lead to compulsive behaviors that end up dictating your life’s coping strategies. Therefore, if you feel as though you can’t control this behavior or stop this habit despite the negative consequences in your life – you may be struggling with a “soothing mechanism” (addiction).



YOUR RELATIONSHIPS ARE STRAINED

Are you arguing with loved ones or finding it hard to keep friends – then counselling could help. Sometimes romantic relationships can feel strained due to financial, sexual, in-laws, infidelity or children issues. Or sometimes relationships are stale, and you just can’t be bothered putting in that extra effort anymore – then you may consider talking with a professional. Since, many times these reactions originate from early childhood experiences and learned behaviors.



YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Reality is that you won’t be the only person who seeks help from a Counsellor. Counsellors are normally degree trained (Bachelor’s and/or Master’s), have ethical standards and are registered with the Australian Counselling Association or Psychotherapy and Counselling Federation of Australia. Counsellors are active listeners and have the skill set to help you see issues differently and achieve life goals.


Counsellors need to have strong analytical and communication skills, be compassionate, flexible, patient, resourceful and empathetic. A counsellor needs to be able to communicate effectively and understand their client’s world and perspective. This in itself takes excellent attending and observation skills.


A counsellor needs to be able to walk in their client’s shoes and then professionally develop a treatment plan collaboratively with their client.


November 2019 – Kerri Bower

#selfacceptance #lifestyle

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